


Baby's First Vacation

by ShewasXena



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Discovery
Genre: ? - Freeform, F/F, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Slice of Life, fun in the sun, the only tag i could think of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-28
Updated: 2018-07-15
Packaged: 2019-05-29 18:54:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15079514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShewasXena/pseuds/ShewasXena
Summary: Tilly, Burnham and Stamets take Saru on his first real vacation to--Oahu! But all is not happy in paradise, with wounds from the Discovery's trip to the mirror universe still being fresh, letting go is more difficult than the crew imagined.





	1. A Pictures Worth

“Okay, I want you guys to stand close together!” Tilly peeked out from behind her vintage camera. “That means you too, Michael. Also can you squat down a little bit, Commander Saru? You’re not quite in frame.”

“Is this really necessary?” Michael asked, stepping beside Stamets.

“Oh, I would say it’s vital,” Tilly replied. She held the old camera up. “Now smile-- _all of you_.”

_Click. Click._

Tilly looked up from her camera. “Beautiful! Now I want to get one with me in the picture too, hold on--excuse me?” Tilly tried to get the attention of an Trill walking past but they didn’t seem to hear. Tilly shriveled a bit. “I mean, yeah, that’s fine I guess, maybe we can--”

Michael surveyed the crowd passing by. “Pardon me,” her voice, weighted by the timbre of command, caught the attention of an Andorian clad in a red Hawaiian shirt.

The Andorian stopped. “Yes?”

“My friend here would like for you to take a picture of our group. Would you mind?”

“Not at all!”

Tilly gave a few quick, instructions to the Andorian then joined the group. She wrapped her arm over Stamets shoulder, shouting,“Say Aloha!” Before he could make a complaint. 

 “ _Aloha!”_

_Click. Click. Click_

“Perfect,” Tilly chimed, taking the camera back from the Andorian, “thank you!” She turned back to her friends. “It’ll be a good keepsake for you, Commander!”

Saru tilted his head. “For?”

“For this! For this trip. We can get it framed, maybe with the caption ‘Baby’s first vacation’ or something.”

“Ensign Tilly, I will point out that I am not a child.”

“Yeah, I know,” Tilly said, “It was a bad joke.”

Saru nodded, perplexed.

 

“ _Aloha! And welcome to Honolulu Transport Station! Please be sure to keep all personal belongings with you at all times._ ” Said an automated voice overhead.

 

Stamets sighed. “Are we done with the picture taking? I would love to go check in to the hotel sometime today.”

Tilly rolled her eyes. “Yeah, yeah, just one sec.” She looked down at her camera. “What the hell!”

Saru looked over her shoulder. “Is there a problem?”

“We all had our eyes closed in these pictures. Every single one…”

They all leaned in around Tilly to see an image of themselves looking more like sleepwalkers then vacationers.

Stamets snorted. “You know what, Saru? I think you should get that framed.” He clapped the Kelpien in the back then slipped away into the hubbub of the station. “I’ll see you guys on the beach!” he called back.

“We’re right behind you.” Michael said, grabbing her bag. She motioned to her companions to follow. “We can get better--,” she paused and sighed, “--pictures at the beach.”

Tilly shrugged. “I guess so. It won’t be as authentic though.”

“I believe you captured the spirit of the moment quite accurately, Ensign,” Saru offered.

“Thanks, Saru.”

 


	2. Beach Babes

The sea air rushed playfully across the sand. A modest amount of tourists were littered across the beach, sunbathing and playing in the water. 

Michael watched the scene behind dark sunglasses with rounded frames. 

“What do you see out there?” said Tilly, returning from the bar with two rather colorful drinks. “Anything interesting?” She set down the cups on the small table beside their beach chairs then settled into the  seat beside Michael. 

Michael shook her head. “Nothing worth mentioning. Though there is a man who fell asleep before putting on sunscreen who will regret it later, I imagine.” 

Tilly winced. “See that’s why I bring a bathtub worth of sunscreen to each vacation else I end up looking like a boiled lobster.” She chuckled self-consciously then looked around. “Where’s Stamets?” 

“He went for a stroll. I am not sure when he plans on returning but I wouldn’t worry too much.” 

“I would. He’s been so down lately--not-not that he shouldn’t be, I mean--” 

“You are worried about Commander Stamets mental health is what you mean to say.” 

“Yes, thank you,” Tilly sighed. 

Michael nodded. “I confess, I am too. I believe the most we can do is give him our support as best we can and allow him to heal.” 

“Yeah, I know. It’s just hard to see him like that.” Tilly fussed with the ends of her hair. “And I miss Doctor Culber too.” 

“He was a good doctor and a good man,” Michael said, “I miss him too.” 

Waves crashed, small children squealed in delight as they were swept up in the gentle current. Tillly and Michael watched them thoughtfully. 

Michael’s gaze moved from the water to Tilly in time to catch a tear curve across the side of the ensigns nose. She hesitated then rested her hand on Tilly’s. “It’s going to be alright.” 

Tilly wiped the tear away, her face flushed. “I hope so.” 

“It will. Perhaps not in the way we imagined, nothing is perfect. But we will carry on and be braver, stronger, than we were yesterday.” She gave Tilly’s hand a final squeeze before letting go. 

“You’re so eloquent all the time,” Tilly said, laughing through her tears, “it’s not fair.” 

Michael shrugged. “The sea air brings inspiration I suppose.” 

Tilly rolled her eyes.

“On a lighter note,” Michael said, “What drinks are these? You said you were going to surprise me.” 

“Oh, I got myself a piña colada and I got you a mojito.” 

Michael picked up the slender glass and took a sip through the neon pink swirly straw. “Refreshing, I like it, thank you.” 

Tilly froze. Her eyes fixed on the beach. “Oh.my.god.” 

Michael frowned and turned to see what had captured her companions attention. 

There, dressed in a blue hawaiian shirt with an outlandishly large straw hat atop his head, was Commander Saru. He towered among the other tourists with a large drink in hand. He sauntered over to Michael and Tilly. 

“Commander Burnham, Ensign Tilly, are you enjoying the beach?” 

“Apparently not as much as you are, Saru,” Michael quipped with a smirk. 

Tilly giggled. 

“Were you not the ones who told me I should relax?” 

Michael nodded. “You are exceeding our expectations.” 

Saru shrugged, his long, delicate fingers curving outward. “As it should be.” 


	3. It's A Win Win

Michael laid out a towel across her beach chair, smoothed it down, then folded it into a neat, compact square. She held up the towel. “That is how you  _ properly _ fold a towel.” 

Saru held up his own towel, folded just as neatly as Michael's, if not a bit more, though she wouldn’t dare give him such a victory by admitting it. Saru tilted his head slightly. “It is a good effort, certainly.” 

Michael squinted at the Kelpien. “I think the word you are looking for is not ‘effort’ but ‘exemplary.’ Though of course you may not have had proper examples up until this point.” 

Tilly’s pale hand snaked around Michael and snatched the towel. She moved over to Saru and took his towel before he could protest and stuffed them both into her bag. “There!” she said, “Now they’re both folded badly and I don’t have to hear this argument anymore. It’s a win win.”

There was a pause. 

“But which would you say was folded the best?” Said Saru. 

Tilly head fell back. “Ugh! I’m not answering that.” She glanced over at Michael and winked. 

Michael cleared her throat. “Should we go then?” 

“Without me?” 

All turned to see Stamets, dressed like someone intent on partying till the sun rose, leaning against the cabana entrance.He looked tired, the grin on his face made the dark circles under his eyes stand out more. 

“Commander,” Michael started, “we weren’t sure where you went.” 

He stepped up into the cabana, sitting down the beach chair nearest to Michael. “I just went out, explored the area, had a drink, then another, then another one after that. And  _ then _ I wandered over to the Honolulu Institute of Scientific Exploration and stared at their bioluminescence exhibit.” 

“Sounds like...fun,” Said Tilly slowly.  

The three exchanged worried looks. 

Michael clasped her arms behind her back, going “full Vulcan” as Tilly would say. “Commander, perhaps you would benefit from some rest back at the hotel.” 

Stamets chuckled. “Yes,I probably would. Can’t say I’m in the mood for it though.” He looked around at the group. “Where were you headed off to?” 

“I believe a club called Boogie Bungalow,” Saru said, “is that correct, ensign?” 

Tilly blushed. “That was one of them, yes.” She noticed Michaels disapproving stare. “What? It was recommended by the hotel.” 

“Well that sounds-,” Stamets searched for a descriptor, “--unique.” He jumped up from the beach chair. “Fine, I’ll go with you.” 

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Tilly blurted out, only to close her eyes and rub at the bridge of her nose. Most likely kicking herself on the inside. 

“I’m sorry?” 

“I think what she’s trying to say is that perhaps it might be best if you got some rest, Commander,” Saru interjected. 

Stamets waved him away. “I’m fine.”

Tilly frowned and looked to Michael for some sort of guidance. 

Michael straightened. Though it wasn’t apparent she was trying to surmise how to solve this unsolvable problem of grief. Or at least make a very sad man go to bed. “You are welcome to join us, Commander,” Michael said finally. 

“Thank you.”

“On the condition you assist me in bringing back our bags to the hotel.” 

“Sure, fine.” 

Tilly exchanged a series of confused looks with Michael. Michael waved her away. “Tilly, Saru, you two can go on ahead. The Commander and I can handle these things.” 

 

“Um, okay, sure, that’s fine. Just give me a call if you need anything.” Tilly made her exit with Saru in tow, who, took one last look at his fellow officers, giving Michael a knowing head-bow before heading out. 

Michael shouldered one of the bags. “Shall we go, Commander?” 


	4. Starman

Michael adjusted the bag hanging on her shoulder, swaying on the uneven sand beneath her feet. She glanced over at Stamets. 

He looked quite somber in the semi-darkness. 

“Ensign Tilly is worried about you, Commander,” Michael said. 

Stamets chuckled. “You really cut to the quick sometimes, Burnham.” 

“Pardon?” 

“Nothing, just an expression. You were saying?” 

“I was saying,” Michael continued, “ensign Tilly is worried about you, as am I and Saru. You’ve been--” Michael searched for the proper word, “erratic, since we arrived here.” 

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed but I’ve just lost my husband.”

A line had been crossed,a bubble burst, the flood gates opened and all those human phrases. There would be no more dancing around the topic now. 

“I am well aware of that.” 

“No one else seems to be.” 

“I believe they are trying not to bring up something painful.” 

“It hurts more to act like everything’s okay when it’s not.” Stamets stopped walking. “Ever since we came back my life has been a series of various people giving me looks of pity and doing their best to avoid talking about Hugh. And that includes this damn vacation too. I’m tired of it.” 

Michael regarded Stamets. “You would feel better if you were able to speak openly about Doctor Culber?” 

For once the genius scientist was rendered into grave silence. His gaze fell from Michael, moving from the sand out to the darkening horizon. He sighed. “Yes.” 

“Let’s talk about him then.” 

“What, now?” 

“You did say you wanted to talk about Doctor Culber.”

“Yes but I was thinking later on after I’d drunk enough tequila to forget I even said anything at all.” 

Michaels expression darkened. “I sincerely hope that was a joke, Commander.” 

“Only partly.” 

“Are you afraid to speak about Doctor Culber?” 

“I’m not afraid to talk about him. I just don’t know where to begin. How can I find words to articulate someone like that?” 

“Start somewhere simple then.”

Stamets stared at her. “Okay…” He rubbed at the side of his face. “The first thing I can think of was how good a dancer he was.” 

Michael eyebrow rose. “I can’t imagine the doctor dancing.”

“When he wasn’t busy with work, we would go out and he would,” Stamets gestured air quotation marks, “,‘let loose’ as they say. I think a dozen or so other men tried to dance with him every time we went out. He would politely decline and say that he ‘already had a great dance partner.’ It took me awhile to realize that he was talking about me.” 

“You enjoying dancing, Commander?” 

“Oh, not at all but Hugh likes to be charming. He knew how to make me feel welcome when I was uncomfortable.” Stamets smiled. “I guess that’s what made him a good doctor. Making people who were scared or uneasy feel safe. I know he did that for me.” Stamets started walking again, slowly. “I can’t believe I’m about to say this but I wish I could out dancing with him again. I would look like an ass but at least he would be there with me.” 

Michael followed Stamets.

“What was the name of that club again?” 

“The one we planned to go to tonight, you mean?” 

“Yes.”    
“The Boogie Bungalow,” Michael said with some distaste. 

“I think I’ll go,” Stamets said, “I just want to go out dancing, make a total ass of myself for an hour.” He turned and pointed at Michael. “And then I’ll go to bed.” 

“I am not your guardian, Commander.” 

“Maybe not but much like my mother, I won’t hear the end of it if I keep on going like I am.” 

“I will not disagree with you on that point.” 

Stamets diverged from the dry sand letting the foamy waves wash over his feet. He stopped again. His misty eyes met Michaels. “Thank you, Michael.” 

“You’re welcome...Paul.” 

They stared at each other. 

“Oof- let’s not do the first name thing again. Agreed?” 

“Agreed.” 

Stamets chuckled.

Michael turned. “Shall we go ‘boogie’, Commander?” 

“I believe David Bowie did say ‘let all the children, boogie.”

“Who?” 

“Nevermind.” 


	5. Tomorrow

 

Michael scanned the club for familiar faces. In the sea of writhing dancers she could see Tilly’s vibrant red curls and not far from Tilly, she could see Saru talking to another Kelpien at the bar looking only mildly uncomfortable. 

Stamets brushed past her. “Don’t just stand there, I don’t want to be the only one making a fool of myself.”

Michael smiled, following the commander into the throng. She managed to make her way over to Tilly without elbowing too many people. 

Tilly didn’t seem to notice her. 

“Ensign!” she shouted, the pulse of the music threatened to drown out her voice. 

Tilly whirled around, her hair hitting the party goer beside her. 

“Hey, watch it.” The man shouted over the music. 

“Oh, shit, sorry!” Tilly said with a wince. She moved closer to Michael. “How’s Stamets?” 

“Pardon?”

“I said,” Tilly raised her voice exponentially,  _ “how’s Stamets _ ?”

“Not better but not worse. He’ll push through. He’s a brave man.” 

“Good, I’m glad--hey can I tell you something?” 

“Of cour--” 

“So I’m really drunk right now and I’m sure I’ll regert...regret? Regret. I’ll regret this later but,” Tilly took a deep breath, “I think you’re the most beautiful person ever.” 

Michael’s eyebrow rose in true vulcan fashion. “Oh?” 

“Yep! Yep. And I would really like to kiss you or maybe go out on a date sometime. But I know you are still hurting over Ash so if you aren’t interested I totally get that and honestly I could have handled this all way, way better.” 

“When would you like to go on this date?” 

“I’m sorry, what?” 

“The date. Perhaps tomorrow? I think it would be a waste to not take advantage of such a beautiful place.” 

“Oh. Oh my god. Okay, it’s happening,” Tilly’s face flushed, “I mean, yes, that would be really nice. Tomorrow would be really nice.” 

“It is a date then.” 

Michael took Tilly’s hand and began to sway with her to the energetic beat. “Till then I believe we should ‘make a fool’ of ourselves. Stamets seems to be.” 

They both looked over at Stamets who, though he was dancing dreadfully, didn’t seem to have a care in the world. At least for the moment. 

Tilly giggled. “Fuck it, why not?” 

Then they danced, not well, but they danced with the promise of tomorrow in their heads and the pain of the past fading behind them like darkness fading at the end of a tunnel. 

**Author's Note:**

> This story is for my friend Kiara's birthday even though it's late. But happy birthday anyway! You're the best :)


End file.
